Interviewed by Mikal Saint George
Photographed by Evan Sung

Let me get this up front and out in the open right now. I LOVE Candida Royalle! A living legend in the adult entertainment industry, she proudly boasts “I got into adult films to support my art habit!” Her candor and wealth of experience comes across as both comforting and enticing. She is the type of person you want to confide in, share a joke with and buy a drink for. Oh yeah, and she is as beautiful as ever. As a gay man, this is the kind of assignment my straight-guy friends eat their hearts out over!

I had the opportunity to sit down with her over pineapple juice and club soda after her recent book signing at the Museum of Sex. Her book HOW TO TELL A NAKED MAN WHAT TO DO: Sex Advice from a Woman Who Knows (Fireside Books / Simon & Schuster, $20.00) is more than just another how-to sex tome geared toward the perpetually timid and frequently frustrated.

It is in fact filled with juicy advice and scintillating scenarios that have been culled from more than two decades in front of the camera, behind the camera and every position in between. (Note: it is nearly impossible to write a piece like this and totally avoid double entendres and seemingly lame witticisms without sounding like a report on proper upholstery techniques. Bear with me.) But if you are looking for a “dirty” book disguised in a plain brown wrapper of research, look elsewhere. Royalle was a sexual explorer when the term, not to mention the very concept was still largely relegated to clinicians and hushed “scientific” studies of “nymphomaniacs” and chronic “self-abusers.” Or even worse, free-lovin’ hippies.

As a result, Candida in many ways became a prototypical feminist, in charge of her own emotional sobriety and sexual independence. She made history with the founding of Femme Films, her adult entertainment production company that is now known worldwide, focusing on erotica from a woman’s standpoint and geared for the mutual pleasure of couples. No small feat in an industry then completely dominated by men in every respect.

My first question of course was the most obvious - why this book and why now? It turns out that the seed for How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do was planted a few years ago when she wanted to address the topics of guilt and shame that plague so many women. This evolved into empowering women (and men!) to feel comfortable exploring their own desires and expressing them to their partners.

“There was a time in my own life,” she recounts, “when I was with someone I really liked a lot but when we finally made love, it just didn’t work. So I was telling a girlfriend that I didn’t think it would work even though he was really great and wonderful. And she said ‘well, just tell him, talk to him about it!’ It seemed so simple and obvious! I wanted to get that message out to others.”

If you are surprised that Candida Royalle would be uncomfortable talking about what she wanted sexually, you can only imagine how surprised Candida herself was! “I thought, oh my God, if this is difficult for me, imagine what it must be like for other women.”

I myself find this fascinating. I have to wonder if this is a result of the way girls are raised - to be “ladylike" and avoid outward signs of aggressiveness. Boys on the other hand, are reared to take what they want and take no prisoners. “Absolutely!” responds Candida. “I think it goes back to the good girl / bad girl myth - especially in the American culture. Girls get all these mixed messages that they are supposed to go out in the world and look very alluring and sexually desirable and yet you don’t want guys to think you have too much experience.”

She goes on to relate an anecdote about a man she was dating who declared his desire to marry, but not to a woman with too much sexual experience. Why he would choose to share that particular story, in those particular words with Ms. Royalle momentarily flabbergasts me. “But,” she points out “those are the kind of mixed messages that are constantly put out there - and this kind of thinking has become so entrenched in our culture that it holds many women back.”

There is absolutely no male bashing on Candida’s part, a trap that could be easy to fall in to. When asked if men find strong women (emotionally, mentally, sexually) to be intimidating she is quick to disagree. In fact, she sees many men as coming a long way from that mode of thinking and acknowledges that as each gender evolves, both will reap benefits.

“The other part of the writing of this book was that we can’t expect men to read our minds and magically know what we want! It is so much more satisfying when two people enter a relationship knowing what it is they like and want and feeling safe enough to discuss it.” She concedes that spontaneity and exploration is fun - but a little knowledge beforehand goes a long way. No arguments here.

I want to make it clear that although this book has a female demographic in mind, men have a great deal to glean from it as well. I would have to believe that many of the women who read this book would LOVE for the men in their lives to read it as well. With the male neurological affinity for how- to manuals, this book definitely has cross-over appeal. Candida backs me up when she tells me how many men have come to her and said “I really learned a lot from this!” She is quick to acknowledge the amount of social pressure for men to “perform” and “know exactly what they are doing.”

Switching gears, I decide to talk about Femme Productions. Much to my surprise she is taken aback when I refer to her as a maverick. “I like that, but explain what you mean.” Uh-oh, have I chosen the wrong adjective? No, I explain that as a woman in an industry that, especially at the time, has been completely defined by men she decided to take it on, build a company and create a whole niche market that no one even thought could exist. “I have been called a pioneer but I like maverick even better!”

Thanks to strong political beliefs and a healthy sense of self, the initial obstacles were never intimidating. She was able to put together a business plan and outline the market she wanted to tap into - women and couples - and was soon able to find investors. The key piece to the puzzle: finding a distributor. As any indie film maker on Avenue C knows, making the movie is a piece of cake compared to finding distribution. Fortunately Royalle’s reputation as a bankable actress that could be depended upon opened doors for her in other areas of the industry.

Although doors opened, deals were a bit tricky to close. “There was a lot of patronizing at first, a lot of patting me on the head and saying ‘Nice idea Candida, but this is a boy’s club.’ That just got me fired up even more!” It seems she was faced with the same lack of vision that plagues the entertainment industry, adult or otherwise. Of course perseverance and spoon-feeding can, and do, pay off. Candida and Femme are perfect cases in point.

Fast forward to present day. A hallmark of Femme’s productions is the use of real life couples. She stresses that she really likes for actors to establish some kind of relationship, even if not real life romance, because the sense of intimacy is so intensified. She often invites prospective actors to request certain co-stars, adding a real life fantasy element to the production.

Of course the flip side of this coin is the real life couple that gets into a fight on the way over to the set or the strangers who have flown in only to discover they don’t really like each other. Real life has a way of seeping in almost every where. “As coldhearted as this may sound, the bottom line is I am paying them to look like they are really into each other. If they really are, great! But even if it is not their ideal, they are being paid to convince us they are having a great time.” Make no mistakes: Ms. Royalle is a movie exec!

By her own admission, Candida was fortunate to enter the industry as an actress at the very top echelon. Embarking on her career in the ‘70s - widely considered the golden age of Adult films - she was always impressed with the professionalism she encountered. She recalls how “un-sleazy” her impression of the business was. “I worked for directors who really saw it as an artistic challenge and really had fun with it.” She continues, “I did run into directors that tried to take advantage of talent and did fit the sleazy bill. But in Hollywood or Madison Avenue it’s all who you work for and how smart you are and really paying attention to who you should work for and whose office you should walk out of immediately.” Good advice for any industry.

She is pragmatic when asked about the backlash the adult industry received at one point from feminists. She points out that for years the industry was literally and figuratively carried on the backs of women while virtually ignoring their sexuality. “Of course there will always be those who are against it (erotica) no matter what but I think that is largely a thing of the past. Younger feminists have come to understand that erotic adult entertainment is not their enemy.”

One of my favorite Candida Royalle stories of the evening; the time she invited - and received - an audience from the National Organization of Women to view one of her early films. Talk about a tough room! She first showed a “standard” adult film and then her own. Much to the surprise of the audience, but not Royalle, the screening won praise all around! “They came expecting nothing but ended up having their eyes and minds really opened!” If Candida Royalle can win over that crowd, world domination is just a few steps away. Brava!

 © 2007 Mikal Saint George